Inspired by Phon
You know what? Who am I to be telling people what love is?
I told myself I don't even believe in love, not anymore. After my last relationship, I began to think "love" isn't really a feeling. I came to a conclusion that love is like a substitute word to express one's feelings of ALL KINDS of feelings that's put into one. You miss them, wanna talk to them, can't help but to think of them, etc. etc., and love is just one word to sum it all up. It's really not a bad idea or conclusion, either. I don't think it's anything to believe in, it's not God or something. everyone has their own definition for this word, their own beliefs, their own perspective. After someone kept repeating to me "you don't believe in love," I thought about it. There's nothing to believe in. It's either you feel like you feel it, or you don't. The phrase, "you're too young to fall in love-" bullshit. Going through shit I've gone through, you're never too young for anything. It might be a little drastic, but you're never too young.
Don't get me wrong, there are many people who say it just to say it, like those elementary kids, but that doesn't count o_o Anyway, I'm gonna pause right here and answer your questions, Phon:
a) when ur down and you hear that person vioce it makes you happy what does that mean ?
b) when you can't stop thinking about the person and it makes you pick up the fone and call what does that mean ?
c) is it love ? or what ? because i know love hurts but dam is it suppose to be this fucked up ?!
a - Haha honestly, I think that's a ridiculous question to ask, but it's self explanatory, hearing his voice makes you happy, of course, lol
b - Anxiety? You think of him all day and if anyone calls out of the blue you automatically expects it to be him, right? Haha a little excited :P That's going to happen quite a few times xD
c - This is interesting. I believe that if you really do love someone, you don't even have to think twice. It's either you do or you don't, but you know you do if you're sure without questioning. Love doesn't hurt, you hurt. Love is just an verb or an adjective if you use it in my term (description of feelings, etc.). I don't think "love" can be "fucked up." The feeling takes over and makes you do crazy things, but the word itself never does anything to you. It's your own problem if you're in the situation you're in. Everything depends on your actions and your words as well as your significant other. Don't abuse the word like that.
For myself,
I only call him that because I don't know his first name.. LOL. No, just kidding. Anyways - lately I have been conversing with a particular someone. At first, it was all fun and games; at least I thought it was.. I know I said I'd quit fooling around with guys for a while, but for some reason he's caught my attention. I'm a kind of person who is up for anything, but for some reason, I'm feeling scared. I like to say what comes, comes, what goes, goes, whatever happens, happens. I usually let whatever floats my boat go by, but now, it's like I know I can't adjust the wind, but I'm willing to adjust the sail. I hate the fact that my ability to feel is becoming more vulnerable each day. I was able to block them out and walk away, but I can't ignore the fact that I just fell for a stranger. I hate the way some people can completely take over my own emotions, but it's not like he's purposely trying to manipulate my feelings. I feel completely powerless when it comes to him. I feel like such a jerk. I treat him so horrible yet he's being a little angel, I hate it. Why in the hell would someone be so nice to me?! Anywho, it didn't take me awhile at all to realize that thoughts of him takes up my whole day. In the end, I can't complain about any of this. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm finally happy. Content, satisfied at least; some kind of giddy feeling that makes me wanna sing lalala all day 
I couldn't be more thankful. My stress, my worries, they don't matter anymore. P.S. thank you, for everything.
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