Fear

Topic inspired by an old teacher who previously passed on. R.I.P. Ms. Andrea Guerin.

One of the biggest questions next to the definition of love, what's the definition of fear?

fear: (noun)
"a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid." -dictionary.com

What EXACTLY is the purpose of fears? Why do we have them? Is it really necessary to fear? To me, fear itself is all so deceiving as if life itself wasn't cheating enough. I think it's ridiculous that we're able to fear the many things and people that surrounds us. Then again, if there was a world where people weren't so afraid of anything, the world would be pretty disastrous. We wouldn't be so scared to do this and that. I bet there are people who has the weirdest fantasies of destroying just about anything and everything, not to mention the situation between the Germans and the Jews. Being fearless can also be a good thing; in that case, if the Jews weren't so afraid of getting caught by the Germans, I bet they would have provoked the Nazis right back and many of them would have probably been safe and good to go. But anyway, as I was saying, fear gives us all a horrible conscience. The ability to fret over the smallest things or the biggest of a deal has caused us all to be so vulnerable in life. I think that fear holds us all back from a life we never had. As I stated how deceiving fear can be, I meant that I've noticed some people fear things they haven't tried or seen. How can you be so scared to do or try something when you have no idea how will turn out like?  It's all assumptions. I hate assumers. I wonder how it would have been if we were never revealed to recognize such a feeling. The only question that still lingers, is why does fear have to exist? Life would have been so much easier..

Bou went home just a while ago. As I'm sitting here alone, I'm thinking to myself how scared I'm going feel to know I'm close to dying. It must've been hard for Ms. Guerin to lie in the hospital for days, weeks, or months even not knowing what might happen. It brings me flashbacks to the tears that flowed down my father's face before he left me. All I know, is that I wish to never have that same expression on my own face that he once had. I've never felt so sad through another person in my life. It must've sucked for my dad to know he doesn't have much time left in life, to know he'll be leaving the people most important to him, to know he will never be able to eat his favorite foods, or hear his favorite music, or do the things he love to do ever again. I always told myself how I'll never be scared to face death, but the people around me are making it hard for me to keep my fearless attitude. I've never wanted live on so bad. To imagine myself in the depressing darkness of eternity unable to speak, unable to hear, unable to move, unable to feel ever again, has become the most saddest thoughts in my mind and will stick with me until the day I actually die. At the moment, I can only thank the sweet sound of myself still breathing.