Updates of December

So I haven't been on this thing innawhile, I'll just summarize.

- Months ago my hard drive was super fucked up, couldn't do anything, so that was one reason I wasn't on. Then, my brother's friend gave him a broken laptop and he switched hard drive for me, thanks bro, now I just need new ram, maybe a new sound card.

- December 15th, my baby, Bear had to be put to sleep because he had parvo, real depressing, cried for days and embarrassed myself through my finals. Deebo died five days later over depression, he starved himself to death.

- My mom sliced her finger/hand while washing a broken cup. Shit's real disgusting, you can see the layers of meat. Had to get her to the E.R. for stitches and she was being a big baby. It was as if she was a kid again, it was real cute.

- A couple of things I got for Christmas :)
Nikon D3000; thanks mommy
fish eye lens; thanks Alex
UV, CPL, FDL filters and Pink Infiniti Conair hair dryer; thanks Lily
$20, $20, $30; thanks Scotty, Na Sao, Sao Bpou

etc.

This was the first Christmas that I ever received gifts that I wanted, or just any at all. Thank guys, I really mean it. Though the loss of my puppies took a toll over me before Christmas, everything else was pretty great. I spent Christmas morning picking Satsuma Oranges with my mom, which was exciting cus she fell off a tree, played Guesstures with my family and Bou, watched movies, and hung out. It was nice; not traditional, but nice, even if we didn't have a Christmas tree up this year.

So after Christmas, I spent the rest of the weekend at Bou's. I did some late Christmas shopping and actually got them all done in one day, less than a few hours, too. Got back to her place, I whipped up some alfredo and kimchi stir fry.

Last night was real interesting. Bou and I talked for hours, had a bunch of shits and giggles and it was just intense. From time to time we lay in bed laughing at the past, ranting over the present, and hoping towards the future. It's fun.

Hm, I had trouble sleeping this morning, for some reason, I was cold like I never was before.

Today is my sister, Lily's birthday. She turns 27. And Brittney Nugent's. And Dillon Lopez's.

I just had cereal.

Now Playing: Lights - Drive My Soul

iHop

I don't think the morning sun realizes her potential as of today, or any other day of this past week. It's been dark and gloomy every morning and she decides to shine at all the wrong times. It didn't rain this morning, but it was duller than my dirty shoes :\ I finally got to play with my sidewalk chalk. I wasn't too excited anymore. I drew myself a game of hopscotch and played with a soggy cigarette box I found on the ground. All. By. My. Self. I got up to 9 and totally cheated, but no one saw :) I later drew a bunny, but got distracted because Bear was very tempting to play with. Anyway, it was a long morning and the weather is becoming likable. It's gettting coldddddd!

ISN'T TAE A WOLF?!?!

LOLOL! On the way to the city court in Lafayatte, some "cool" guy that was in front of us had a bunch of wolves on the back of his truck. My mom goes, "Oh, a wolf, isn't Tae a wolf?" HAHAHA! For those of you who don't know, Tae is my half chow, half lab retriever. That sure gave Lily and me a good chuckle. Anyway, I flew my rocket today, and it did not go well at all. At least it was cute, though :) (20 hours later) Lol I got caught up with Sally, Brian, and Tuan in a chat over chick magnets. ANYWAY. Now i forgot what I was going to say.. I don't have anything interesting in store for today, but I didn't wanna neglect my blog. K tootles.

Tae says hi :)

Contemplations Suck.

I have been unfaithful to my blog D: Don't worry, I think about you often!

So anyway, I didn't spend my sugarcane festival weekend going out at all. In fact, I stayed in CLEANING. I liked it. I finally switched my beds like I've been wanting to for months but couldn't have because I didn't have an allen wrench (sp?). I rearranged everything and I have SO MUCH SPACE! Mission One accomplished. Now, all I need is a new flat screen so I can rearrange again for even more space. I refolded all of my clothes, and boy did that consume so much time. I'm just waiting on my last load of clothes to dry and fold.

Other than that, I've been doing not so good in school. I'm back to my slacking mode. Tonight I'm gonna hopefully stick a foot in it and study study study!

My court date finally came in. I think it's really pointless since this incident happened a freaking year ago. Pointless. October 8th it is. I'm a little appalled, but I'll probably remain calm and sarcastic throughout the whole session anyway.

Oh, I just ordered a bear hoodie :) Thanks Alex.

So I bought these green suspenders with Kristyn today, and being that I like to walk around half or completely naked most of the time, I wanted to try my suspenders on; I hooked it to my panties then the back got stuck :( I clipped it wrong LOL. I was like, "OH NO NOW IF I EVER DECIDE TO WEAR THESE SUSPENDERS, I'M GONNA HAVE TO WEAR THESE PANTIES!" But yeah, got it out. Phew.

As the sun awaits to rise, and the birds await to sing, I'll be awaiting your company through thistles and things.

I took a nap at 5 PM and was expected to wake up an hour later, but I woke up at 1 AM instead. I'm having a little trouble falling back to sleep; Coldplay and Oasis aren't helping much :\

Caught up with an old bud, Phong, when he IMed me out of nowhere, but he's studying, so I wouldn't wanna bother him much.

I spent my afternoon being Snow White. Geez, if I don't clean this house, no one will. I hate how my brother claims to clean all the time when no one is home, yet I come home to nothing but his mess, fake ass. Who is he trying to convince, the family or himself?

I've been craving for pizza lately :O

I decided to continue writing my book. I've put it on paused for a little over a year, now. I'm thinking about posting chapters of it on blogger, and use that as my layout before a final copy. It's called The Obscure Summer Skies, for those of you who didn't already know. I've gotten only as far as chapter one, but at least many were interested already! I'm gonna rewrite that, anyway, because suddenly my plot has changed a little.

I don't know if I should try to get some sleep, for I have a test, first thing in the morning, or just stay up for the remaining hour and thirty minutes. I should grab a cup of black Joe and go back to sleep! No, I should do something else.. No, I should sleep. But I can't sleep! Coffee then sleep.. grr.. then again I'm too lazy to brush my sleep then make coffee and actually wait for it.. ASDFFDKJROINKLSE?!?! Don't you just hate being indecisive?

Yep, coffee it is.

Rude people, pegged legs, and photography

You try to help someone and then get insulted in the end, grrreeaaatttt.

Whatever, anyway, I slightly sprained my foot yesterday after I went jogging. I have weak legs/feet, especially my ankles and my knees. I've been having weird muscle spasms lately - well, I'm not sure WHAT it is, but it's weird. My back pains are going away, I suppose, but they're reoccurring. SO yes, yesterday I started jogging again. I can't believe over the years I let myself go. It's time I do something good for myself, although it's gonna be a long, hard road. I gotta get over my weak feet, though! I only went half a mile, but I guess you gotta start somewhere.

I gave up, it was too annoying. No idea how the HELL to use photoshop, nonetheless, I have no patience for it. Here it is:

Sometimes, water is thicker than blood.

As stated 2-3 posted below, my family isn't the average American dream family. Obviously, Linda and I don't meet eye to eye very often. I just love how she thinks she knows herself more than others do. No one can no themselves fully without the perception of others. Looks are deceiving, but sometimes they're pretty accurate, especially if you keep seeing the same picture more than once. So we argued through text, and I'm tearing her personality down, and she attacks me physical insults. Honestly, I don't give a shit what others think about me, so fucking be it if I'm weird to others, if I dress weird to others, so the fuck what? Am I trying to win some kind of award with my looks? Looks can only get you so far in reality. Actually, in reality, looks CAN get you so far, but there's so many nice looking people out there, what are the chances that you are going to win an Oscar for your perfectly blonde hair? Anyway, that's not the point. Her insults are proving my calling her ignorant. I'm so fucking sick and tired of all of these superficial bitches walking around with a disgustingly high ego, when really, they're nothing but filthy, and it's not that deep inside; it's so filthy that it makes me vomit to their outside. She thinks this whole argument is over the puppies. It's not just the puppies, it's her. I've been wanting for so long to tell her about her own pitiful personality. Of course she's gonna deny it, and give me the "Say what you want, I know how I am," talk, because she seriously thinks THAT much highly of herself that she blocks all the negative things out and pretend she's super duper awesome. Who the hell is she kidding besides herself? All she likes to do is pretend she's with the "in crowd" of the whole wide world, follow trends, jump on the bandwagon, of course, she's enlisted under the fashion industry; that is her major, after all. Why oh why does it have to be my sister. "My" "sister". And I quote that separately in the same sentence (although it's not a sentence) because it's that dramatic when I air quote myself. She gives me the "OH IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DON'T JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON, YOU JOINED FACEBOOK!" ordeal. No, I didn't join because it's the new cool thing, I join because that's the only way I can network. How am I to keep in touch with people when they're not using the same thing you are? If none of my friends switched to facebook, I would've stayed on myspace. This whole internet shit is so overrated, anyways, I can care less. I looooove how she judges me and everyone else everyday and then calls ME judgmental. She's 23. You would think she would've grown up a long time ago, but apparently she's still stuck in the high school department when it comes to drama and everything else related. I don't mind saying the same, cus shit, I AM in high school, but it's sad to say I'm a bit more mature than she is, most of the time. Everytime someone tries to get along with her, she likes to fuck it up because she's so snobby and into herself. She would ask me if I wanna go somewhere with her, and before I could answer, she'd be like, "Oh wait, I'm not Lily, nevermind," or if it's the other way around, and I ask her, and she'll say, "Why? I'm not Lily, you don't wanna go with me," WELL.. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY YES OR ASK? She just never gives up when it comes to stupidity. She doesn't. At all. I admit, sometimes she can be chill, and just, a sister I never had, but too bad it lasts for a few moments. She'd rather be with her friends than her family any day, and right now, that doesn't seem to bother me as much because she's not the type of person I'd like to be my "sister". I give up on her. After I pay her back every cent she whines about, I will never talk to her unless it's an emergency somehow, but I doubt that would happen often. Sad that the only nice thing I could say about her is that she's creative and talented, other than that... nothing else comes to mind. I wish I could have more to say about her, but why would I wish that upon someone who's not worthy of anything that's humble and modest? I don't see how her friends see her the way she is. She's a complete. fake. And another thing, I love how she calls me spoiled. Yes, I'm spoiled because my mom and Lily buys me things because I work for it. Tooootallly spoiled. If anything, she's the spoiled brat; my mom helps her out all the time and she's never appreciative, all she does is curse out my mom and give her lip. That's basically a slap in the face. It's like, "Oh yeah, I just bought my daughter a car today, payed for her insurance, helped her out with her tuition, and in return, she curses me out and ignore me." I must admit, I'm not a golden daughter, and I can't say I haven't been a bitch to my mom before, but you know what? I always apologize to my mom and try to work things out with her and help her around the house. Sometimes my laziness takes a toll on me, but in the end, I try to show my mom I care for her despite my disrespect. It's not like I isolate myself in my room planning something to purposely disrespect her, if I could, I'd take back all the horrible things I've ever said to my mom. She does stupid things sometimes, but she doesn't deserve the disrespect that I ever gave her. Anyway, wow, I always get off track. You know what, I'm not skinny, I'm not pretty, I don't do 1000 hours of community service, but I would never, ever, trade lives with Linda, I don't understand how she wakes up everyday and put on a show for everyone. Longest show I've ever watched. Worst show, also. I don't even think I despise my brother as much as I do with her.

Lexi's first litter

Today, Lexi had her first litter of puppies. She was impregnated with my dog Tae, which is a half chow half retriever, odd mix, not to mention, she's a shih-tzu and he's a giant big thing of black. Anyways, it started from 9 AM to 3:30 PM. I can't believe I missed it. Linda's planning to give them away, not letting me have a say so, because she's a _______. She gave birth to five, however, one didn't make it.. it was a cute one, too.

A new beginning, after a new one, after another new one, and after that new one

It seems that all I've been wanting lately is a new beginning. I'm never satisfied. After so many big sucky events in my life, all I want to do is start over and forget everything in the past.

As a filler, I guess I'll sum up everything and then go from there.

This year went by pretty fast. Basically, I lost my bestfriends, all of my friends, rather. I've been feeling like the third and fifth wheel, maybe even the seventh. I don't know whether it's me overreacting, or them oversucking. I've been constantly ditched and neglected, but maybe it's me whos been thinking too much over situations. It was me who pushed them all away and it's me who misses them, but this time I won't bother going back because the same things will just keep happening. They were never too considerate of my feelings, although amongst the group, I seem to be the most bitter, most blunt, and mose careless. Still, I'm also as human as they are. These days, though, I feel like I'm better off. There are some times where I wanna run to them to giggle and gossip as girlfriends about the things we just can't tell anyone else because it's uncomfortable and no one else would understand, but then again it's not worth rekindling our friendships for that small part of sensation just to be fighting again in the end.

Last night my sister, Lily, told me that one of my exbestfriend's mom killed her husband and tried killing herself but failed and is now in jail. I wanted so bad to break away from my "ignore all of my friends from the past" attitude and go console her and be there for her. Knowing our friendship just isn't the same because of my overreactions, she probably doesn't even want me to try to stick around. Best wishes to her..

As I said, I'm better off without them. I've been doing the things that I've always wanted to do but never got to because I always felt burdened over something else. I'm getting my life back on track and it feels good. I've been trying to build a closer relationship with my family because that was always something I couldn't do since my friends got in the way; I'm not saying my friends are telling me not to get along with my family or anything like that, it's just that I'd rather hang with my friends then stick around at home doing nothing. To contradict myself, I actually love staying home doing nothing. My mom's the one who makes me having friends a complicated thing. She always think that they're bad influences on me, when I'm the one who wants to try new things. Either way, none of that really matters anymore. I've been hanging out with Kristyn alot. She's basically my only friend these days. I don't know where I would be without her. She's like that one person in the world who would always be that one clover of four amongst the patches of three when you feel like everyone and thing sucks. I'm starting to be more active like I was before, years ago. My mind is also rejuvenating from the stress and drama that it's been through. I've been trying to hang out with my sister, Linda more, because she's always so jealous that all I do is hang out with Lily versus her, but you know what, she also makes me feel left out when all her attention goes to my brother. I don't want her to think that just because she has cancer means I suddenly want to hang out with her. I want to because I do. I feel that our family needs to get our shit together and stop being so immature, fighting all the time and being smartasses around each other. All I ever wanted was a real family, but we can never really have that. Everytime I wanna hang out, she gives me lip and says, "oh wait, you don't wanna hang out with me, I'm not Lily," blah blah blah. That really annoys me, if I didn't wanna hang out with her, I wouldn't even bother asking. Anyway, we took a roadtrip to Baton Rouge. We also watched movies together, but I still think we need more quality time together on the long run. As for my brother, I don't think anything could be helped in that department.

School started recently. It's my last year of high school (hopefully). I'm taking Physics I (H), Advanced Math I (H), English IV (AP), Western Civilization (H), Biology II (H), Art I, Publications II/Art IV, and Family and Consumer Science. I don't know what college I want to attend yet, but I feel like I won't be able to make it to any. My new goal this year was to stop my procrasination but it's only week 2 and I'm already back to procrasinating. My future plans? I wanna become a chemical engineer under product design. It isn't my dream job, but it was the only one that pays big money. I just hope my potential is persistent so that I can get rich and branch off to photography and writing, and then on the side, open up a bakery, a coffee shop, and an art gallery. Anyway, that's about it.

Family Gras '09

Linda, Tao, Bou, and I attended the Family Gras of '09 in New Orleans. We missed half of We the Kings' performances, but it's alright! We were just in time for Check Yes Juliet and Skyway Avenue :) The man I've been anticipating for was more than amazing - GAVIN DEGRAW! I fucking love that man. I wanted to just get on stage and rape the shit out of him. I was a tad bit depressed when he left and Sara Bareilles took over, but she was awesome live, too. We went eat at P.F. Changs after, and it was the first time I ever had lamb. Yummy it was. It took us about forever to leave our parking spot, literally an hour; assholes wouldn't let us out, and this clever black guy got out in like two seconds by being an ass. Who knew people like that would prosper. Anyway, the trip home felt long. After we got home, Linda's lonely ass made me and Bou hang out with her in the pool house and we watched Sex in the City the movie and I loved it. Can't believe I was up through the whole thing because I can't stay up during movies at night, I prefer to see them early in the day. I usually hate v-day, but yesterday was the best!

Good morning

WOW WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE! I accidently exited my blog when I was nearly done and now I have to retype it again -sigh-


So last night, I got to hang out with Taylor, after like a good whole year of not seeing her ass. Brian and Aaron joined the night, also. We went eat out and goofed off and I tricked Taylor that I had telekinesis. I will never forget, we peeled off by a train track, almost died, and we practically almost died laughing. I didn't get to finish two tasks down there, and hopefully I get it done today. Bolt was pretty cute, if any of you didn't watch it yet, I recommend it; the hamster and the fat cat are too adorable. I'm a lot late on an abundant amount of movies, so I will watch one a day to catch up with the rest of the world. I don't know why, but I keep waking up at 6 AM, even if it's a weekend, what a loser. I find that my hair really hates me now, because it doesn't want to grow when I want it to. I think I might head back to sleep until someone calls me for tennis

This made my morning:

I advised him to eat a bunch of fruits and drink alot of water for his hangover, and..

「』 well i cant be fucked『」
Rick does not complie with fruit
" y ♥ u n a h "
what? why not?
" y ♥ u n a h "
it's one of zee best thingz zoo eatz
「』 well i cant be fucked『」
You're one of the best thing to eat
" y ♥ u n a h "
you've never tried, how would you know?
「』 well i cant be fucked『」
Got samples when you where asleep
" y ♥ u n a h "
should I count that as creepy?
「』 well i cant be fucked 『」
Yes

lmao




--edit 7:09 PM--

Shit. So I barely got anything done today, Kady took most of my day up, no improvements what so ever. I'm tired, and I am ready to sleep and I did not do any of my papers. I'm also wondering why I'm sitting on my bed naked eating rice crispy treats one after another. Brb, sister needs my laptop.

Omg, also, I found a fucking four leaf clover! I never thought those were real, then I found a whole patch. I called up Taylor becuase it was really ironic that we were talking about four leaf clovers and rabbit feet, and all, and she was like, "Dude, you'll have like the best luck in the world." Unfortunately, I haven't been getting any at all. Anyway, I can't really remember much details, so I think I'll stop here. Oh wait, there was this scenario where this "onyx" woman came "bucking" on me, Kady, and Pamela because she thought we stuck the middle finger at her while we were on the swings at the park. Honestly, I never even see her until she came towards us, and we were just laughing hysterically. Pathetic 30(?) year olds..

It's a new year -

yet everything's exactly the same - crappy. I used to always look forward to New Years because it used to always feel so rejuvenating, as if I was actually starting over. I guess I was always so blinded by the excitement, I don't realize that there is no such thing as starting over, no matter how many years pile upon me. Is it really possible to start over without having to think about all of the previous happenings you don't want to be reminded of? What IS starting over? To pretend nothing happened, and move on? To try to forget about everything that used to be, and keep going somewhere that'll show you wonders? You only get one shot, life isn't a Ninetendo, there are no reset buttons. The other day, when I woke up, the first thing I thought about was all the things I wished I never should have done. Then, in a split second, I instantly felt like crap. I do things without thinking and I don't look back. As alot of you say, 'whatever happens, happens', and sometimes, it works like that. It usually does for me, but I think I just had one of those days where an imaginary dump truck decides to back up near my head while I'm laying in bed and dump trash all over my face, enough to where the garbage juice was able to soak into my head and get me all pensive in the morning ANYWAYS, enough emo talk. Shit happens, they say, and unfortunately, "they" are right. Anyway (lol Ngo points out that I say 'anyway' alot), it's finally 2009! January 29th is another year older for me, yay.

Let's look at some New Years Resolution, shall we?

-Learn to be nice.. to everyone.. at all times.. :P
-Get back in shape! Now that's a MUST!
-Be a little more useful these days
-Get better at the piano and the guitar (thanks for the acoustic Fender, Uncle, I L O V E it )
-Get a new job
-Save save save!
-Lose all of the useless people in my life
-Stay out of trouble
-Grow my hair back out
-Clean more often
-Learn to apologize (lol Antoinette)
-GET RID OF THIS FARMER'S TAN THAT I'VE HAD FOR LIKE 2 YEARS!
-Focus on school? Get kick ass grades!
-Less sleep, more action, hut hut hut!
-Read the whole dictionary
-I have to snow board and ice skate this year >:0
-Dude, I need to clean out my closet and get organized!

Too much things to think of D: I'm done for the night.